I get this phone call from my daughter's
day care center saying they'd like to talk with me about Elise. I'm
thinking, all right, who has the little bugger bitten this time. So we make
the appointment, and I go inside, and there is my daughter in the office
with another little girl and her mother.
Well, there weren't any visible marks at least...
So I sit down, and the other mother is sitting there, near tears and she
tells me our daughters have been kissing each other on the mouth, and how
could the center not call her, and that she discovered them kissing in the
corner when she came to pick her daughter up. Then she went on to say how
she was from a very religious family and that she was concerned with this
behavior.
Just so your up to speed, my daughter is all of 18 months old. And hers is
all of 17 months.
So at this point I'm thinking "what the F#$%? Is this lady kidding
me?" And it didn't help that I was feeling like a real smart ass
yesterday.
But anyhow, this lady starts tearing up, looking towards me for empathy, and
tells me her daughter has been kissing a lot of girls on the mouth and that
she's worried she might be gay.
So I say (sympathetic person that I am) "Well, your daughter might be Gay,
but I think Elise is just experimenting..."
Daycare lady chokes back laughter.
Then; "Does she go for the blue crayon instead of the pink one?"
Daycare lady almost in tears
The mother starts thinking seriously about what I've just said, then you can
see her expression change as she realizes I'm screwing with her. So my
daughter picks this opportune moment to try and snog her daughter
again...and soon the babies are goin' at it in the corner.
And being the sensitive person I am I say "Elise, please don't kiss your
girlfriend in front of her Mommy, it upsets her."
Daycare lady loses it.
The mother gets up and claims she isn't bringing her daughter back. (Ours is
the best daycare in town mind you, two governors awards in a row. They
have their own chef and it's a year waiting list to get into the place.) And
she tells me I'm going to Hell, my daughter is going to Hell, and she'll
pray for us anyway.
He He.
Then she gets up, goes out the door and drives away in her classic cadillac
with the bumper sticker on the back that says "Seek Salvation". Tacky. I
hate bumper stickers on luxury cars.
So I hug my daughter, and tell her she needs to find someone more in line
with our political values. And she points to the TV in the daycare office
and proclaims "Teletubbies!"
I mean really people. How can anyone be worried about their child's
sexuality at 18 months? At 18 months you're still trying to keep them from
sticking their heads in the toilet. Mine still occasionally runs into our
glass door. I can't believe someone would waste time thinking about this.